Am I or am I not a _____?

This week I met a wonderful blogger who inspired me to write this blog. Her name is Magnolia and she and I have been having a very fascinating conversation about alcoholism and specifically the label “alcoholic”.

I really learned something from this conversation – it was something that I already knew but never really applied it to myself.

Magnolia was asking herself whether is she is or is not an “alcoholic”. Her question to herself was whether or not that label was something she could wear and live with. So I started to think about it.

For the past 20 years, I have called myself a “TVholic”. Anytime the subject of TV would come up, I would immediately come forth with the admission that “I am a TVholic.” That is not strange in itself – the strange part is I have not had a TV in my home for about 15 years!

So now that Magnolia and I have been talking, I decided to really look at that again: am I or am I not a TVholic? At first I answered yes, I am, absolutely. But then I took another look: do I watch TV all day long? No. Would I if I had the chance? Maybe but probably not. Can I watch TV in moderation? Yes, I believe I can.

But there was something else I realized. That label is just that: a label. It’s a word, it is not what I am. I don’t have to be that word. By telling myself all these years that I am a TVholic, never questioning it or looking at it again, I created a certain mindset for myself that put me under the control of the TV—the TV was boss. And suddenly, I felt librated! The TV is not the boss, I am. I was the one that decided to make the TV boss and I can now undecided that.

I feel like a newborn foal that is still trying to find its legs. After all these years, I am not used to thinking that I am not a slave to the TV; but I really like the idea and I feel more and more certain about it even as I write this blog.

And no, I don’t plan to go out and get a TV in my home because my home is a place of peace. I don’t want to bring something in that would disrupt that. I really hate the noise that a TV makes, especially when you are not the one watching it.

And as far as labels are concerned, it has always been my opinion that they do way more harm than good. I have spoken to thousands of people on the phone over the past several years and often I hear about, ADHD, ADD, PTSD, OCD, bipolar and on and on and on. People take these words and absorb them into their being and forget that they are words; people forget that they determine their own lives. That is not to say that people don’t have problems – who doesn’t? But sticking a label on it is not going to resolve the problem.

So thank you Magnolia. That was a great learning experience.

© 2009, Sigal Adini. All rights reserved.