Although it is still common to label drug addicted persons as “bipolar”, the fact remains that the bipolar label is still just that — a label. It’s not a physical illness by legitimate medical standards and there is no physical test, that can be done on a person, which shows a “chemical imbalance” or “bipolar”.
I’ve heard drug addiction and mental disorders likened to cancer and diabetes. How do those even compare?
What would you think of a doctor that recommended chemo therapy because a patient said they feel bad and they believe they have cancer? You would think the doctor is crazy if he did not first order tests, tests and more tests! And yet, thousands of prescriptions for powerful pharmaceuticals are written daily for people who say they feel unwanted emotions, without any physical tests to determine the cause.
If you have ever been personally diagnosed with bipolar you know first hand that there is no blood test or any physical examination done to determine whether or not you have such a disease.
If you take a minute to read the medical information insert for Seroquel (Quetiapine), a drug regularly prescribed for “bipolar”, you might be surprised to find wording such as, “The mechanism of action of SEROQUEL … is unknown.” Or “It has been proposed…” In other words — in spite of well asserted claims that medications “balance” a “chemical imbalance” — the makers of the drug don’t actually know why the drug does what it does nor do they know how much of each chemical our brain is supposed to have in the first place. What they do know with absolute certainty is the long list of serious and sometimes permanent side effects (or a better term would be “unintended effects”).
A recent article in Newsweek did an excellent job of exposing the fact that in clinical trials, antidepressants performed almost no better than a sugar pill — a placebo. Yet those who were on the medications experienced the side effects you see on the insert or label on the medication. Personally, I would rather take a sugar pill than a medication that did not perform much better but left me hating sex and throwing up.
In the interest of public awareness and good health, I highly recommend this article to anyone considering medications as a solution to drug addiction or emotional difficulties.
Once in a while I get the question: Can the addict check himself out of treatment once they are in? Or are there any programs that don’t allow you to check out once you check in?
When I get that question, I know exactly why it is being asked: The addict has been to three, four or five detox or rehab programs; always leaving before the program is complete; always going back to using and refusing to go to long term treatment. Usually the person asking is certain that the addict is literally killing himself on drugs and if no intervention occurs, he is surely going to die.
From that point of view I can completely understand why it would seem like a great idea to force someone to stay in a rehab. The person asking this question is hoping and praying that if the addict is forced to receive treatment, they will eventually come to realize that they need to be there, start to improve and participate on their own volition.
The concept of using force to help people has a long, painful and very political history – that is not the topic of this article but understanding this history does have value in understanding why forcing people into treatment is not, in the long term, a viable solution for the individual or society.
There are only two types of programs in the U.S. that I know of that will accept someone against their will: prisons and psychiatric hospitals. If you have personal experience with either, you would probably agree that neither of these treatment models have long term success – if any success at all – in treating a drug addict.
People have natural rights and they inherently know their rights. A person has a right to give or receive – or to not give or receive – help. This right is so fundamental that when violated, the protest can be quite fierce.
There is the argument that addiction is a disease and not a personal choice. Today, this is still only a theory. There is no scientific evidence, no physiological tests or studies that scientifically proves this theory.
The best form of treatment is one that acknowledges a person’s personal choice. Personal choice is superior in power to any force or coercion. Just think about a time when someone tried to force you to do something, regardless of its benefits. How did you react? Would you have more likely done it if you were given the freedom of choice?
And just as a side note, consider the poor addiction counselor who has to work with a unwilling patient. What an uphill battle that is! And for so little gain, who would do it?
OK. So what do you do? Give up on the drug addict? Let them die? Let them ruin not only their life but the lives of those around them?
No. Absolutely not.
Compassion is one of the highest of human virtues. Helping our family and friends is the basis of human relations. Where would we be if someone did not care about us or our welfare?
The way to help a drug addict is to give him back his power of choice. There is a very small percentage of drug addicts that want to be addicted. Most, by far, want to be drug free and happy. They just have no idea how to get there and so assume they will just have to survive the best they can while still using drugs.
There are methods to effectively show the addict the way out of the trap. This is not an easy thing to do, but there are ways. And there are people who are willing to share with you their knowledge of how to go about it.
And finally, the bottom line is: It is your choice to help or not. It is the addict’s choice to be helped or not be helped. And it is definitely your choice to be or not to be in association with any person who is harming themselves and others.
This week, an amazing story was posted on the LA Times site “A Teen Party, a Mysterious Death — and a Town’s Unanswered Grief.” It really brought home the message that we, as adults, can and often do underestimate what our kids know. For the safety of your children, I highly recommend you read the article and then go talk to your children about what you learned.
The article makes three very important points:
1. Underestimating what your child knows about drugs can be deadly.
2. Make sure your child really understand when to call 911.
3. Always pay attention to where your child is going and what they are doing.
After all the work we have done in schools, after the hundreds of thousands of students we have talked to and surveyed, we know that many many kids have no clue how dangerous drugs really are. It’s true! And though you would be right to think that after all the threats of punishment, warnings, horror stories and the scary pictures they are shown in health class that they must know about the danger that awaits them — they don’t.
Why? Why don’t they get it? It’s not bad genes, I assure you. We as adults process information in a different way than children do. We see things differently and we have a lot of personal experience that we can use to draw conclusions from. So when you see someone dying of cancer, to you that’s real! You probably know several people who have died of cancer. But for a child it’s different. I remember when the first person I personally knew died — I might have been about 13 years old at the time — and I thought, “Wow! It’s finally happening. I am getting older because someone I know has died.”
Children don’t have the advantage of personal experience and they need basic data — not scary pictures — to put in their memory banks. They need factual and easy to understand information that is explained in a down to earth manner that does not insult their intelligence. And it has to be realistic and they have to be able to relate to it. People with holes in their throat because they smoked are not real to a child. I mean, honestly, how many people have you met with holes in their throat?
More often than not, we find that children don’t understand what a drug is. Talk about basic! I would bet that if you now asked ten people what is the definition of the word “drug” they would not be able to tell you. Students often tell us, when we ask them to define the word, that it means “something bad”. True. But what is it? You know what a book is. You know what an apple is. So what is a drug?
Well in case you are not sure yourself what the definition of the word is, here are two references that together give you a complete definition
1. “Ten Things Your Friends May Not Know About Drugs” — Page 4
2. FDA – How does the law define a drug? — Third paragraph
In defining basic terms and explaining basic information about drugs, we find that children respond very well. They feel empowered and often tell us that they finally understand WHY drugs are harmful and that they are no longer curious about how it feels to take drugs. And they feel more able to take a stand and not just go with what their friends tell them. Peer pressure is a real thing but it cannot overcome personal certainty. If you know something and you are sure you know it, it would take a lot of work to convince you otherwise, wouldn’t it?
So be proactive and learn all you can about how to talk to children about drugs and how to help them understand the dangers. Believe me, the truth of the old adage, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” has never been more true than in the world of teen drug abuse.
And lastly, I want to make a special mention of the journalist that wrote the LA Times Article,
Maura Dolan. What an amazing job she did of telling the story. It’s a real gift to be save lives with the written word. If you appreciate the article, let her know: maura.dolan@latimes.com
Yesterday, an article came out in the Los Angeles Times about the crack down on medical marijuana dispensaries. From my point of view, that’s very good news.
Several months ago, I received a call from a mother who wanted help with her 21 year old son. At that point, he was just starting to use marijuana and she was very concerned. His behavior had been changing rapidly and he was no longer the person that he had been.
Prior to this point he had been actively pursuing a career as a firefighter. He had a very strong purpose to do this and was diligent about going to school and getting the necessary credentials.
Quickly, after the marijuana use started, he began to drop out of classes, has been staying out all night with “friends” and in just a matter of months, his whole focus has changed. He still has a job, but now he uses the money to buy marijuana and is no longer paying his bills.
Recently he got a “marijuana card” and he is now “legally” buying marijuana. In California this has become very fashionable. There are about 800 marijuana dispensaries in Los Angeles City alone – that’s more than Starbucks locations, per the DEA. So from his point of view there is nothing wrong with the situation. His philosophy is that he has rights and should be able to do what he wants, when he wants and if this is the way to do it without penalty, then it is OK.
His behavior toward his mom has completely changed; he has become very hostile and argumentative. He still lives at home and does not pay rent. That his mother, who did all she could to make sure he got an education and helped him throughout his life, is so unhappy and worried, is not enough to make him evaluate the situation.
That his long wished for career as a firefighter – one of the most honorable jobs you could have, especially in Los Angeles – is now getting further and further away from becoming a reality, is also not enough to wake him up.
Since the mom’s initial call to me, things have gotten progressively worse. At this point she is looking at sending him to a rehab program.
You could argue all day long that people have a right to do as they please. But the questions are always: Is what they want to do harmful to themselves? Is it harmful to those around them? And you don’t have to take my word for it, just look around: if it is harmful to them, it will effect others around them. There is no getting around that one.
Unless a person is on a deserted island, by himself, he is part of a family and part of a community. What happens to you will effect me directly or indirectly. The choices I make for myself, are choices that effect not only me, but my friends and family. So to say that the drug user “is only hurting himself” is so unrealistic that it can be disproved very easily.
Personally, I could say, the heck with it, if people want to do drugs, let them. Why should I care? Why should I spend 75% of my life at a job that helps others overcome addiction? I should look out for number 1 – me! I should get a “normal” job and make money and take vacations.
But I cannot do that. I have never gone anywhere or been with any group of people where there was not at least one person who had either done drugs, was on drugs now, or had a family member who is or was on drugs. When I drive down the street, I know with absolute certainty, that many of the drivers out there are under the influence of a medication or illegal drug. My life, my safety and my happiness are definitely affected by the choices that other people make.
Personally, I find it easier to confront the issues and do something about them, then to try and ignore them and live a life of ignorance. I would have to really work hard to not care and it would be more work than it is worth. And I would be unhappy.
“Well, sometimes I think that when you get high or when you drink – when you alter your consciousness – it weakens you psychically [mentally], like it creates cracks and then bad stuff can seep into those cracks and maybe never go away.”
This quote comes from a scene in the movie, Sunshine Cleaning. As I was watching it, I thought, what a great way to express something so true and so profound. There is really nothing I can add to that statement. It’s completely true and stands on its own without needing any further explanation.
At at time when the norm is to make drug and alcohol use seem so acceptable and normal, I commend the writer for taking the time to address this issue. I believe this is the first time I saw a writer take a minute and say, “Hey, there is something wrong with drug and alcohol use.”
To see what others are saying about how drugs effected them personally, I recommend these videos: Personal Stories.
If you want to understand how the mind works and how drugs create damage or “cracks”, please request the free booklet, Life Cycles and Mechanics of Addiction , through this website or write to www.soberingthoughtsblog@gmail.com or call 888-800-8331.
There is something that I learned a long time ago: helping others is therapeutic.
Many of us, and I am not just talking about drug users, tend to focus inward and individuate. It’s not bad to be an individual – in fact you must be yourself first before you can successfully be part of a group. Groups are made up of unique individuals, not robots. But to individuate means to cut yourself off from others and think only about how things are affecting you. That sounds very much like “selfish” but I know that people are not inherently selfish. Life can throw you a few curves and after a while, it seems that a dark cave and bucket of ice cream are the only way to survive.
But no matter how attractive that might seem, it’s the complete opposite of the right way to go. If you want to be happy, find someone to help. It is a spiritual experience to get out of your cave, see that there are others in this world who are likely worse off than you are and to know that you have done something small or large to aid their survival.
There is no substitute for the feeling that you were able to positively effect another person’s life. And every time you help another it adds to your power.
We have all had failures in helping others. Don’t let that failure get in your way. Believe me, in my work, I have met many interesting people, have helped several thousand families in one way or another and I assure you that I would not change that for the world. Even on the rare occasion that someone yells at me or hangs up on me, I don’t think for a minute that I should be doing something else. The rewards are just too good.
So set yourself a goal to help someone today and then set another goal tomorrow to help two people and so on. Let me know how that feels.
If you ever want to meet a really interesting person who selflessly helps others, visit Patrick at his blog. You will also see how one individual can make a big difference.
“Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.” Albert Einstein
Last week, I spoke to a woman whose ex-husband is now homeless and living in the park. His family has all but completely disconnected from him. After years of drug use, he has finally come to this point — the point he said he would never get to. Every bit of his self respect is now gone; the shame of being homeless was the only thing that kept him from getting to this point sooner. The ex-wife was hoping that this would be the bottom and that now he would turn things around. They gave a final push and with his agreement they admitted him to a rehab of his choice. He walked out three days later and has not been heard from since.
Why? What would make a person act this way?
We can speculate here about an infinite number of “mental disorders”. But no matter how many labels one can come up with, there is only one factor that actually answers the question and brings about a resolution.
We are all driven by the urge to survive.
Everyone of us has a natural desire to survive and create a better life for ourselves, our family and our friends. All our actions, no matter how small or large are aimed at increasing our potential and level of survival. If you look around you, there is no action that we take that is not aimed in that direction. It’s true that we makes mistakes, but that does not negate the fact all living things are working to survive every minute of every day.
Drugs and alcohol change the way a person sees the world around him. The drug user is, to a greater or lesser degree, not tracking with what is actually happening in their current environment. Drugs also stick a person’s attention on the past. Slowly or quickly, drugs (which include alcohol) change the way the mind perceives and processes information. Drug induced paranoia is a very clear example of wrong perceptions but there is a whole range of wrong perceptions – some subtle, some not so subtle – that accompany drug use.
Nonetheless, like you and me, the drug user is desperately trying to survive and resolve problems which get in his or her way toward a better life. The problem is that with wrong data, their computations are flawed. And while to the drug user, in their altered state, their solutions make perfect sense, to a sober person, their solutions look strange or nonsensical.
If you understand this one point you can start to see how a drug user might be helped.
Bringing the person back into the present and restoring their ability to perceive the present environment is key to rehabilitation. And this, incidentally, is why medications will never solve drug addiction problems and could actually cause more damage and prevent recovery.
This is why long term rehabilitation programs are better than short term. A person needs time to recover and really be able to perceive correctly.
This is why “mental disorder” labels don’t bring about a resolution. All they do is make the person think they have a disease, which again, is wrong data.
And this is also the reason why, during treatment, a person needs to be away from the environment in which they were using drugs. Having environmental reminders of drug use can stick a person’s attention on the past and not allow them to come up to the present. Until they are stably in the present and in better control of themselves, they should not be around those triggers.
So remember that no matter what the drug user says or does, they too are trying to survive to the best of their ability. Your job is to help them see the way out of their confusions and get them back to reality. Because only when they have recovered their ability to be happy and survive well in their present environment without drugs, will they cease to use them.
I cannot think of a better way to protect our environment and help kids learn the truth about drugs at the same time.
Until recently, I had no idea how many used cell phones get thrown out or are retired every year. The numbers are in the millions! How many of us don’t have a used cell phone or two sitting in our drawer at home?
What an incredible resource that is to help fight drug abuse. Instead of throwing away your old phones, only to have them end up in a landfill with millions of other, or just letting them collect dust at home — recycle!
If you want to help, here is a link:
Save Lives – Recycle Your Cell Phone
You can also help by looking around your environment for sources of used cell phones. Lost and found departments in hotels, stadiums, and the like can be an excellent source. Maybe the company you work for just replaced their phones and would like to donate their old ones. Or maybe you are having a gathering at home and would like your guests to bring in their old phones to help prevent drug abuse.
The ideas are endless and this is a great way to support kids without having to write a check.
If you have any more ideas on how used cell phones can be found, let me know!
Artist - Tony Bylsma
Many times the person calling has already called about five or twenty different places, left messages, sent emails and was bounced around from phone number to phone number. By the time they reach me, they are completely frustrated, angry and sometimes, just about hopeless.
Even I get a little hopeless and sad sometimes because I know what is out there and what is not.
My best advice is don’t give up—if you cannot find local, look elsewhere. Look in a different state or different city. At this point, distance is not as important as your long-term sobriety, your life and your happiness.
This advice is specifically regarding drug rehab which is very different than medical detox. Sometimes those two things are thought of as being the same.
Just to make sure that point is clear: medical detox gets a person through drug or alcohol withdrawal. Medical detox alone is not rehabilitation. Detox takes about three days to two weeks, depending on the situation. Medical detox is just step zero. The person still needs to complete the rehabilitation process by going to a drug rehab program.
Not every drug user or alcoholic needs a medical detox. The need for medical detox is determined by two things: Is withdrawal life threatening? Or, is withdrawal so painful as to prevent the person from persisting though it?
Certain prescription drugs are very dangerous to withdraw from cold turkey. Alcohol withdrawal can also be life threatening in certain cases. Some combinations of drugs or drugs and alcohol make detox more complex. Withdrawal from pain medications, methadone, heroin, etc., can be very painful and without medical attention and supervision, it makes it very hard for the drug user to persist.
Drug rehab is not the same as a medical detox. The purpose of drug addition treatment or rehabilitation is to help a person learn how to remain sober with training and counseling. It’s there to help address the issues that were there before the drug use started and those that developed due to drug use. Without handling those, the addict is open to relapse.
Most drug rehab programs that are free or low cost, don’t provide a medical detox.
The problem with finding a low-cost or free medical detox is that they are hard to come by and some have restrictions on whom they can help. The point is that for a state-funded medical detox, you might have to stay local because state-funded detox facilities might not be able to take out-of-towners. Be prepared to be patient if you do find a local medical detox. It may have a waiting list or you might have to call in every morning to check if there is a bed available.
However, when it comes to drug rehabilitation, there are several programs out there that would be more than happy to take someone that was not able to afford treatment. And you don’t have to be a local. Many of those places are very religious and if that is good for you, then you are in luck! They would love to have you. There are fewer programs that are secular and they too would be happy to take you in.
The payment from you is that you have to be willing to travel and commit to a long term program. The choice is always yours, but I encourage you to look at that option if you cannot find what you are looking for locally. You can save yourself a lot of frustration and time.
I am always on the lookout for drug rehabilitation treatment programs that are free or low cost. If you know of any, please feel free to mention them to me and I will be sure to refer people to them. My only criteria is that they must not use prescription drug therapy in treatment (only in detox when necessary) or any other harmful practice.
If you need resources for free and low cost programs, you are welcome to contact me at 888-800-8331. I will do my best to guide you.
Artist - Tony Bylsma
I really learned something from this conversation – it was something that I already knew but never really applied it to myself.
Magnolia was asking herself whether is she is or is not an “alcoholic”. Her question to herself was whether or not that label was something she could wear and live with. So I started to think about it.
For the past 20 years, I have called myself a “TVholic”. Anytime the subject of TV would come up, I would immediately come forth with the admission that “I am a TVholic.” That is not strange in itself – the strange part is I have not had a TV in my home for about 15 years!
So now that Magnolia and I have been talking, I decided to really look at that again: am I or am I not a TVholic? At first I answered yes, I am, absolutely. But then I took another look: do I watch TV all day long? No. Would I if I had the chance? Maybe but probably not. Can I watch TV in moderation? Yes, I believe I can.
But there was something else I realized. That label is just that: a label. It’s a word, it is not what I am. I don’t have to be that word. By telling myself all these years that I am a TVholic, never questioning it or looking at it again, I created a certain mindset for myself that put me under the control of the TV—the TV was boss. And suddenly, I felt librated! The TV is not the boss, I am. I was the one that decided to make the TV boss and I can now undecided that.
I feel like a newborn foal that is still trying to find its legs. After all these years, I am not used to thinking that I am not a slave to the TV; but I really like the idea and I feel more and more certain about it even as I write this blog.
And no, I don’t plan to go out and get a TV in my home because my home is a place of peace. I don’t want to bring something in that would disrupt that. I really hate the noise that a TV makes, especially when you are not the one watching it.
And as far as labels are concerned, it has always been my opinion that they do way more harm than good. I have spoken to thousands of people on the phone over the past several years and often I hear about, ADHD, ADD, PTSD, OCD, bipolar and on and on and on. People take these words and absorb them into their being and forget that they are words; people forget that they determine their own lives. That is not to say that people don’t have problems – who doesn’t? But sticking a label on it is not going to resolve the problem.
So thank you Magnolia. That was a great learning experience.